emotionally stress

i could not take it anymore..i'm totally emotional stress now. it suppose to be a good vacation but it turns up a disaster. why did this happen?? what the hell happen??

telling to truth that i dint expect that you and him will be together after you just broke up a few months ago, and now you are having something suspicious with him, makes me feel uneasy. where the most of all you are together with the guy that i kinda like. but it's definitely awkward for him to find out cause i'm just nobody and definitely she is much more prefect than me..

being to sensitive?? yes i am cause you are having a relationship with a guy i had a crush on and i'm just freaking shock about it..but i let the feeling go because you guys deserve to be together after all..not going to get involve with you guys..my heart and mind feel so tired on  love, relationship and so on...

how i wish i got no feelings at all..not to feel pain and sad, not to feel heart broken and disappointed, not to feel unwanted..

people around me got their happiness in all different way shape and sizes..but i cant see mind, i cant feel mind where and when will i have it? how will i have it??  i guess it's best for me to keep everything in to my heart letting myself to hurt more rather than hurting someone.

scarifies for others might be worth it cause i don desire anything back, or may be just a smile will do, that is all i'm asking..but how many time do i need to do this?? i've been giving up on this i like for other peoples happiness..how much more i need to scarifies or give up on the things for people?? why just cant people do something back for me!!

you know what i guess i would just keep it all to myself and never give other for it..being selfish sometimes is a good thing but also a bad thing..i guess i just prefer to be a bad person other than a good person getting hurt all the time..