REALIZATION!!

awesome i'm in a state of realization!!!

i realize something that was there all along..in the past i realize something that is right in front of me but i dint want to know more about, dint want to ask about it, due to that to particular thing it has blinded me...

it has blinded me for so long and i even fell for that trap, for that some thing i realize has trap me and blind me, and i'm so stupid to fell for the trap...

may be is because i want to try it out, want to experience it, want to know how it feels, want to get hold of it...

it all when smoothly until that day came, until it came and i actually experienced it, that i actually felt it before, that i actually tried before, that i actually hold on it before...

it took me for few month to come to the state of realization that it's not worth fighting for when it's not worth going for...it make me realize back at that time, the thing i realize before was actually true, was actually going on, but i realize it was me that ruin the thing i realize...

it was me ruin something i should not have done, it was me that should not exists in that particular thing, it was me that should not have come between....

how can i be so blind, cornered, trap in that situation where i realize that situation happen long ago, how can i be so cruel, how can i be so greedy, how can i be so blinded, how can i not REALIZE IT !!!

i'm sorry for being exists at that time, letting you suffered, cried, demotivated, sorry to get it the way...

now that i'm gone, and i no longer exists in that surroundings, it that situation, i pray and i hope that was forgotten and never remember in that surroundings and in that situation ever again...

and i realize it did happen!! awesome!!! i'm no longer related to it!! i was forgotten!!!

note to self : next time if i realize something and my heart has the glitch to it...better not make the next step to come between that again!!!